In My Stylish Yet Affordable Boots

Stylish who?

I had plans today, to have brunch and see the Milwaukee Symphony Pops concert ("A Fabulous 50s Celebration", with guests Sha-Na-Na, and conducted by Marvin Hamlisch).  The show was quite enjoyable, from Mr. Hamlisch's arrival onstage, wearing a Green Bay Packers scarf, through to the final number, "Goodnite, Sweetheart, Goodnite".

I carefully planned what I wanted to wear today, so I could take my new Christmas gift from the The Husband - a lovely string of pearls - out for a spin. I had a lovely brunch. I enjoyed the first act of the concert. And then I discovered that my sweater was on backwards.

So much for attention to detail.

Happy 2011!

In 2011, I resolve to make no resolutions that will just cause me to beat myself up when I don't stick to them.

That said, what I hope for in 2011 is to be more mindful of my health, my words, my attitude, and my actions.  To read a little more than I did last year. Complain a little less. Learn a new thing or two. And most of all, live life joyfully and lovingly and purposefully.

Can't really ask for more than that.

A life, summarized

For a variety of reasons, I've been thinking about the milestones of my life a lot lately. And today, especially, I'd like to remember a few.

Today marks:

• the 8th anniversary of leaving my 20s behind,
• the 17th anniversary of legally buying & drinking alcohol,
• the 20th anniversary of buying my first lottery ticket,
• the 22nd anniversary of becoming a licensed driver,
• the 25th anniversary of becoming a teenager,
• the 28th anniversary of achieving double-digit ages,
• and the 38th anniversary of this diary entry: "September 28, 1972: 4:52 PM - Born to [Mom and Dad], a daughter [Stylishboots] - 6 lbs, 19 1/2""

Wonder what my past self would think of me today?

The stuff that rolls around in my head

What I write about in this blog is generally inspired by things I see, conversations I have, or sometimes a weird convergence of the same topic coming up in different parts of my life in a short period of time.  This is one of those weird convergence things.

Online relationships. Nearly everyone has an opinion on the nature of online relationships - whether meaningful relationships can be formed, if spending that much time online is healthy, if a person is just opening themselves up to fraud or other dangers.

M y life is full of positive online relationships. I met The Husband online, and most of our early relationship was conducted via email.  While planning our wedding, and later in the throes of newlywedness, I met a group of people at a similar life stage.  It's more than 11 years, and several internet venues (from Usenet to a variety of popular social media sites), later and I have a handful of very good friends to show for it.  I also have a large network of very nice acquaintances.

Additionally, Facebook has allowed me to reconnect with people I haven't seen or communicated with since high school or college. I've renewed and enlarged my network of acquaintances, but I've also gotten some harsh reminders of relationships that turned out to be something quite different from what I thought they were at the time.

And here's the rub.  People tend to share so much of themselves online that it's really easy to view these relationships as more than they are.  To forget that, just as in real life, there are people with whom you form closer relationships because you just click and then there are people who are perfectly nice but will never be that close to you.  Not everyone is going to be your friend. This is as true online as it was in elementary school.

So when you have this smaller group of close friends, and a larger group of nice acquaintances, what is your obligation to them across the vast expanse of social media?  Is it imperative to include everyone in every network? Or is it reasonable to make choices to limit your network in different ways, depending on the forum?

Offline, it is reasonable to throw an intimate dinner party for a few close friends versus throwing an open house and inviting every person you know.  Should different rules apply online?  Share your thoughts with me in the comments.

Who needs the fountain of youth?

On the way to work this morning, my carpool buddy and I heard a radio commercial touting some product aimed at making women look younger.  I've seen the television version of this ad before, which includes some man exclaiming, "it made my wife look 10 years younger!"  Upon seeing it, I asked The Husband if he wants me to look younger than my age (which, for the record, is 36).  He told me I already do look younger than my age.  Isn't that sweet?  Oddly enough, he's not the only person to have told me this in recent years.  A couple of friends have said so, unprompted, as well. 

I related that conversation with The Husband to my carpool buddy, who said, "oh, yeah, you do look younger than your age."

I always knew there had to be some purpose for oily skin and good makeup.

Will Blog For Food

I had an appointment this afternoon out in the western 'burbs.  Thus, my drive home was a completely different route than I usually drive and was at a different time to boot.  Getting off the expressway, I found a person at the end of the off ramp holding a cardboard sign: "HOMELESS AND HUNGRY".

So many thoughts tumbled through my mind right then - everything from "this person looks mentally ill" to "I wonder how much more we'll see of this in the current economic climate?" to "if I gave this person money, would they spend it on food, or on booze or drugs?" to "would I be safe if I roll down the window?"  Uncomfortably, the light at the end of the ramp was red, so I had to sit there looking at a person clearly in need of something, trying to avoid eye contact, with my own prejudices roiling around in my head.

Ultimately, a driver two cars back rolled down their window and offered the person some money.  I'm grateful to that driver for their compassion and generosity, but I've had to think about some ugly truths.

It's easy to talk about providing more programs and more help for people in need, to write a check, or not even bother because your taxes come right out of your paycheck.  Seeing, up close, poverty, mental illness, homelessness...it's a different story.  We've been conditioned as a society to be skeptical, suspicious, contemptuous, and frightened of the people who don't fit in.  If I roll down my window, will he steal from, or try to harm, me?  Is she really homeless or is she scamming the suckers people who give her money?  Those people aren't trying hard enough to get a job and take care of themselves, so why should I help them?

I'm not proud of my thoughts or (lack of) actions on that off ramp today.  But conditioning is hard to fight.  Given the same situation, I can't say I'd do anything differently.  And I wonder: what kind of person am I, if I allow cynicism and fear to override generosity and compassion?

The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Really OK, Day

It's Monday.  That, on its own, is quite enough to start out a day badly.  Then I was so out of sorts that I forgot to take my daily medication before I left the house this morning.  The news reported thick fog this morning with less than a quarter mile of visibility, which is not an ideal condition for rush hour traffic.  When I stopped for gasoline, the little metal flap that lets you keep filling the tank without holding the handle was missing from my gas pump, and holding the handle made my hand smell like gas.  The ATM ate my card when I tried to get money, telling me the card is expired.  Upon arrival at work, I had five meetings scheduled for today, plus ended up in another impromptu one.  Prices in the work cafeteria were just raised so my lunch cost an obscene amount of money.  My mom's health is worrisome.  I was rained on while leaving the restaurant where we ate dinner tonight.  One of these on its own, or all of these things added up, could have left me short-tempered.

And yet.

I had a good day today.  I didn't complain, I didn't dwell, I didn't snap at anyone.  I felt...happy?! It wasn't a conscious decision, and I didn't realize it until I mentioned the ATM card problem to The Husband to help me remember to look into it.  I just forgot to be crabby.

This is definitely something to think about.

The Daily Commute

On our way to and from work every day, my carpool buddy and I see some strange things on the roads.  From the neckwarmer dog to the Monday morning drag-racers, we spend a lot of our time scratching our heads, wondering 'WTF?'

Of particular interest of late has been the trend to hang plastic or metal testicles from the trailer hitch or some other location under the back end of the vehicle. Who is the person who says to themselves, "You know what this truck needs? Balls."?  And, who is the person who says, "You know what we need to see on the road, hanging from vehicles all over the place? Balls. I'll get right on that!"?

While the testicular phenomenon is fascinating, this morning brought a new oddity that made me think that we need dash-mounted cameras to catch the weirdness so I can share it with you.  We pulled up to a stoplight next to a vehicle that I previously believed was just a pickup truck driving in front of us.  Not so.  It turns out the "pickup truck" was actually a van that had been sawed off just behind the front seats, to about halfway down, and then the back end sawed off at a right angle to the cut behind the seats to create the illusion of a pickup truck.  No plastic, glass, or other material had been placed into the cut behind the front seats, so it was just open to the elements.  Keep in mind that it was 19F this morning.  A quick Google search suggests that converting a van to a pickup is not entirely unheard-of, but typically the cabin would be enclosed after the cuts have been made. Really, who wants to drive an open vehicle in a Wisconsin winter?

I crave viable public transportation options, but there's not much that can beat the entertainment value of my daily commute.

Ten things that begin with D

DH: His name also happens to begin with D.  We joined our lives together just over ten years ago now, and I cannot imagine my life any other way. Love you, dear.

Dodge Neon: The first car I bought and paid for myself.  It was a zippy little red sedan with only six inches of ground clearance and (unknown to me at the time, in the era of $1 gallons of gas) poor gas mileage. I loved driving it.  Which brings me to...

Drivers: The other people on the road.  I swear, my vehicles must come equipped with an invisibility switch that I manage to accidentally flip quite often, if the number of other cars that try to hit me are any indication.  Of course I've made mistakes on the road, but the utter lack of attention paid by other people on any given day is frightening.

Dior Addict Ultra Gloss Reflect: I can't say enough about this, my favorite lip gloss. Love the colors, love the shimmer, love the texture. I also love the packaging.

DPNs: Double-pointed needles. I made it my mission to conquer them to knit socks, and I've done it! Next up: magic loop.

Disney: My happy place. The Husband and I manage a Walt Disney World trip nearly every year.  Even the year we took our vacation to Paris, we took a day and went to Disneyland Paris.  We are not Disney Vacation Club members (yet), but arriving at Walt Disney World still feels like coming home.

Dad: The first man in my life, and the one against whom I measure I all other men.  He is not a perfect man, but he is a kind and caring and gentle and good man. I admit it, I'm a Daddy's girl.

Dorkhood: It's mine and I embrace it.  'Nuff said.

Dancing: Something I love to do, wish I could do more, and one of my few regrets is not continuing ballet and tap lessons (but really, who knows any better at age 4?!). I don't even need to be drunk to dance -- I'll dance in the car, in my office, in shops playing a fun song (see "Dorkhood," above).

Diamonds: What can I say? I like sparkle.

Thanks to jaycee for the letter D!

Arachnophobia

I have a fairly well-known bug* phobia.  I know it is irrational, I know that we need bugs of all types, blahblahblah.  Phobias aren't rational. 

Anyway.

For some reason, in blatant disregard for my acute phobia, spiders seem to want to be near me.

Exhibit A: 21st September 2006 -- I open the front door to my house to leave for work and a spider drops out of the sky.  I shriek and do a little dance to stomp on the spider.

Exhibit B: 4th January 2007 -- I am sitting at a table in the cafeteria, having lunch with some co-workers.  One of them looks at me and points slightly to my left.  I turn my head to find a spider hanging there, about a foot from my face.  I shriek, scramble to push my chair back (and nearly knock over someone in the aisle), and wait for one of my co-workers to grab it and squish it.  I am unable to finish eating after this.

Exhibit C: 19th October 2008 -- I am working in my cube when there is suddenly a spider hanging from the overhead file bin, two feet from my face.  I shriek, shout "Jesus CHRIST!", and fly out of my cube.  I find my team lead to squish the spider before I'll re-enter.

At this point, I'm pretty sure it's a conspiracy.  So I'm sending out a plea to the spiders: I know you're needed in the world and you do good things.  But I'm begging you, please stop dropping out of the sky at me!  It's definitely not helping my phobia, and I assure you that it won't help your lifespan.

*Yes, I know spiders aren't insects, but for the purposes of this phobia, they're all the same to me.