In My Stylish Yet Affordable Boots

Ice Cold Buns

I've written before about my daily commute - bizarre sights, neckwarmer dogs, and all. There's something new, practically every day.

This morning's drive, we knew, would be somewhat fraught as we are still recovering from the Groundhog Day blizzard here in Southeastern Wisconsin. It takes awhile to remove snowdrifts of 5 feet or more, and to add insult to injury, the temperatures dropped enough that salt won't melt the ice and snow still stuck to the roadways. The ones that have even been plowed, at any rate.

Anyway, we saw our share of people walking in the street because they couldn't make it through the unshoveled sidewalks, cars spinning their tires or sliding and fishtailing to a stop, and a great deal of unplowed pavement. The truly unexpected sight of the morning, however, was an intersection covered in hamburger buns.

Guess someone must've been tailgating.

(I crack me up.)

"But no one told me parenting would be WORK!"

I don't have children.  Without some level of medical intervention, I'm unable to, and The Husband and I have chosen not to pursue those options.  So I operate in the world from the perspective of a non-parent when it comes to children.  I'm willing to give the benefit of doubt in a lot of public meltdown situations and other disruptive behavior from small children, if it at least appears the parent is trying to handle the situation and is apologetic to the people being disturbed.  I mean, kids are people with minds of their own and at young ages, somewhat poor impulse control.  So I don't expect the same standard of behavior I'd expect from adults, but I do expect that the adult will coach the child on appropriate behavior when inappropriate behavior occurs, or remove the child from the situation if warranted.

Over the years, I've seen some pretty shocking examples of poor parenting skills, but what I experienced tonight may now be the absolute pinnacle of inattentive, careless, and clueless parenting.  I was out with my dad for our annual Christmas shopping trip for my mom's gifts.  We were shopping in a large department store at a local mall.  A couple with two children came in and began browsing in the same area my dad and I were browsing.  The children (two boys, roughly ages 5 and 3) began to chase each other around and between the racks of clothing, shrieking and playing tag.  Neither parent commented or attempted to stop the boys.  But that was not what astonished me.  As my dad and I were examining a blouse and debating whether or not to buy it for my mom, the three year old came up behind me and deliberately punched me in the back of the leg, then stood there looking up at me.  I spun around and said, "Hey! Don't do that!"  Neither parent acknowledged the child, the behavior, or me.  Louder, I said, "You know, I really don't need to be hit by random children in the middle of a department store!"  Still no response or acknowledgement.  Five minutes later, they herded the children into a different area of the store, never responding to me in any way or admonishing the kids.

So, Clueless Parents, my wish for you is that your children always show you the same courtesy you showed me tonight.  Did you think your responsibilities ended with reproduction?  Thanks for inflicting your lack of effort and attention on society.

The Daily Commute

On our way to and from work every day, my carpool buddy and I see some strange things on the roads.  From the neckwarmer dog to the Monday morning drag-racers, we spend a lot of our time scratching our heads, wondering 'WTF?'

Of particular interest of late has been the trend to hang plastic or metal testicles from the trailer hitch or some other location under the back end of the vehicle. Who is the person who says to themselves, "You know what this truck needs? Balls."?  And, who is the person who says, "You know what we need to see on the road, hanging from vehicles all over the place? Balls. I'll get right on that!"?

While the testicular phenomenon is fascinating, this morning brought a new oddity that made me think that we need dash-mounted cameras to catch the weirdness so I can share it with you.  We pulled up to a stoplight next to a vehicle that I previously believed was just a pickup truck driving in front of us.  Not so.  It turns out the "pickup truck" was actually a van that had been sawed off just behind the front seats, to about halfway down, and then the back end sawed off at a right angle to the cut behind the seats to create the illusion of a pickup truck.  No plastic, glass, or other material had been placed into the cut behind the front seats, so it was just open to the elements.  Keep in mind that it was 19F this morning.  A quick Google search suggests that converting a van to a pickup is not entirely unheard-of, but typically the cabin would be enclosed after the cuts have been made. Really, who wants to drive an open vehicle in a Wisconsin winter?

I crave viable public transportation options, but there's not much that can beat the entertainment value of my daily commute.

If you're cold, I suggest a scarf.

I'm a dog person, but mostly a big dog person.  Small dogs, in my experience, are trip hazards and I'm already enough of a klutz.  Something about small dogs, though, seems to make pet owners think that the animals are either small children or accessories.  They're dressed up in leopard-print dresses, carried around in Louis Vuitton purses, and adorned with blinged-out collars and leashes.

The action that really mystifies me, however, is driving with your small dog in your lap.  Would you drive with a toddler in your lap?  How is this not dangerous?  How can you possibly rationalize this into being a good idea?  But taking those questions one step further, what I saw on my drive home from work tonight left me scratching my head and fearing what other indiginities this poor little dog might suffer.

I pulled up behind a minivan that appeared to contain a couple with the woman driving and the man in the passenger seat.  I saw a small dog's head appear to the right of the woman's head, and as I rolled closer I was stunned (STUNNED!) to realize that the dog was actually DRAPED AROUND THE WOMAN'S NECK.

I gaped at the sight as the minivan turned onto a side street, and tried to think of a rational reason for the doggie neckwarmer.  I'm still trying.